Both Parts I and II were written about ten years ago
The Kanjus Chacha and the Gypsy Girl (Part II)
Synopsis of Part 1: ( Ratan the Kanjus Chacha , a real penny-pincher, left his doctor wife in India, who somehow got pregnant when Ratan was not around! He did not divorce her, because Anjoli the Doc made a lot of money!)
Before I tell you how Ratan met this gypsy girl, let me explain about Ratan’s automotive exploits.
A brand new standard car in America would cost twelve to twenty thousand dollars, a luxury car possibly a lot more. A decent used car would cost at least half of that.
But Ratan found a real gold mine. In small towns on Satruday mornings, there are live car auctions. No, these are not lovingly restored antique cars, they are junk cars that are sold “as is”.
Rows after rows of abandoned automotive hulks helplessly await truly desperate buyers in need of transportation! The signs, almost comic, are posted on the windshields:
“BMW 1975 – no engine – $200!”
“Toyota 1990 – no seats, no tires, $600!
Cadillac 1985 – no headlights, no battery, $700!
The seller is not being honest, he merely determines the opening bids depending on what he observes. There are, of course, other possible pitfalls associated with these cars, like one with an engine may not actually start!
Ratan got his last car for $300 from here, fixed it up for anther $400 and it’s been running for the last eight months! He kept on going to these auctions though, because he knew he will need a replacement soon!
He bumped into this group at several of these auctions – James , an older man in his late forties, and his grown up children, Ciara and Brian, both in their twenties.
Ratan passionately explained to them how Americans waste thousands of dollars on new cars, and his general thesis about maximum wealth accumulation. To his surprise, they agreed totally. They liked saving money too.
They looked darker than the average Americans.
“Are you guys Hispanic?” Ratan asked
“No, our folks came from East Europe” Ciara said. “Many years ago.”
It was James that invited him to dinner. Their apartment was too small and the food really sucked. Gross chicken dumplings that tasted like wet flour, and boiled potatoes! These folks are really cheap, Ratan noticed, somewhat amused. The only redeeming feature was Ciara, an attractive young woman that continuously flirted with him.
Ratan decided to invite them for dinner. He can cook a mean Chhole and chicken wings –cheap but much tastier!. To hell with boiled potatoes! Ciara and her family loved his spicy food.
The men were mainly passive, James watched TV and smoked an endless number of cigarettes, while Brian, the younger one, was constantly playing video games on his hand-held console, snacking continuously on any edible items within his reach. Ciara was the only lively one.
While they were lounging after dinner in Ratan’s living room. Ciara veered off to the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, Ratan noticed a feminine hand waving to him.
“ I love your balcony!” Ciara said. “We don’t have one.”
Hanging out on the balcony with a young, attractive and flirtatious girl – Ratan is only human – that’s when things started warming up!
The feminine waves emanating from the kitchen continued on subsequent visits. Soon, Ciara was admiring Ratan’s comfy bed upstairs. As they were romping around, the men remained totally oblivious, James kept on smoking and Brian kept on furiously pushing his game stick.
The entire family appeared to be serious penny-pinchers. In fact all his dates with Ciara were at his home, with her dad and brother in the living room.
“Why do you always bring the whole contingent?” He asked her “We are never really alone together”
She laughed “Yes we are, in your bedroom upstairs, remember?”
“Hey, this saves a lot of money.” Ciara explained “ We turn off all the lights in our place in the evening while we are visiting you. James and Brian can watch cable TV here. We canceled our own cable at home. And Brian can eat snacks at your house instead of mine”, she winked!
Ratan was impressed. No, Ratan was hopelessly smitten.
Finally, a woman with the same goal as himself. Maximum wealth accumulation is happening now, along with romance! What else does a Kanjus guy want from life?
This is it, Ratan decided. To hell with the Doc! He will get an ex parte divorce soon.
After a lot of thought, he bought a moderately priced diamond ring (hey, this would stay in the family, anyways!) and proposed to Ciara. She gleefully accepted.
They started making plans. This was going to be a true partnership, Ciara said.
They jointly bought Ratan’s first new car. No more jalopies, Ratan decided, as he happily got rid of his junky drive! Each would drive the new car on alternate days.
They jointly rented a new apartment . Ratan moved to the empty apartment first.
On a beautiful Thursday evening, they all met at Ratan’s house .
“This is the plan” Ciara said “we have left our old apartment. James and Brian will stay at your house, and will pay you rent.
We have a lease drawn up for a year already that we will sign right now. I will move in with you to the new apartment after we buy some new furniture over the weekend.”
It was Ciara’s turn to drive the new car. They all came to Ratan’s new apartment and dropped him off there.
“I will get a ride from my friend tomorrow morning to go to work., Ciara” Ratan said
“And I will pick you up from work tomorrow evening. We will go furniture shopping, and I will move in with you over the weekend “ Ciara said, as she kissed him goodbye.
Ratan happily slept on the floor of the empty apartment Thursday night. He had finally found his soul mate! Everything is perfect, at last!
The next day turned out to be kind of bad for Ratan.
In fact, you could call it probably the worst day of his life.
Ciara’s phone went dead around Friday afternoon, and she never showed up. Taking a taxi, Ratan showed up at his own house. He was very surprised. Total strangers were living at his house.
When the dust settled, Ratan found that In a small window of eighteen hours, Ciara and her family had sold all of Ratan’s furniture, TV, stereo, computer and all, sold the new car, and James subleased Ratan’s house for a year ! The new tenants had already moved in, apparently they paid James six months’ rent in advance for Ratan’s house.
Ciara had vanished, she called him from Hawaii for one last time.
“We moved to Hawaii, sweetheart! By the way, we charged the tickets to your credit card. And James and I just got engaged. He has already given me a nice diamond ring! Thanks for all your help! “ She giggled.
“James is your lover?” an incredulous Ratan asked.
“And Brian is my boyfriend. I am a gypsy girl, baby”, a chirpy Ciara explained “Sometimes we keep several men around when we are young. When James gets older, I will get rid of him and settle down with Brian!”
The damage was pretty steep for Ratan. The diamond ring was gone, for sure. Not only he lost his new car and all his furniture, but he had to persuade the tenants at his own house to leave by paying them six months’ rent, and pay a year’s rent for his new apartment for the duration of the lease. The total ran into many thousands of dollars. The tickets to Hawaii were bought from his computer, at his house, using his credit card, by James, while Ratan was blissfully engaged in his last “wave” episode upstairs . The credit card company would not even hear about canceling the charges.
The gypsy girl really cleaned him out, putting a big dent in his heart and his wealth. Yes, Ratan went to an attorney. He was sympathetic , although it appeared that he was trying very hard not to burst out laughing.
“Apparently, sir, no laws were broken. Forget about criminal prosecution, it would be difficult for you to even get a civil judgment against Ciara.” The attorney explained
“ The gypsies are well-known for their conniving ways. Instead of stealing, a small number of them have adapted to being vicious con-artists in modern day America. They did research on you, and played you exactly the way you wanted to be played. I am sure the new tenants in your house were part of their network.“
“ Ciara and the gang would soon clean out another middle-aged soul in Hawaii before moving on to another location. The gypsies don’t’ stay in one place for too long! “ He informed a dazed Ratan.
We don’t rib Ratan for his Kanjusi any more. We kind of leave him alone.
He still gets exuberant mail from Anjoli about “their” son’s recent antics! She is planning to send their son to a posh private school in Kolkata followed by an expensive college in America. Ratan will need to pay for half of all that.
Oh dear! He never formally contested his paternity! It is too late now, I guess!
